I’ve been thinking about something I’ll get to do this weekend.
And this one is pretty personal.
Back in September 2022, I had the privilege of officiating the wedding of my son Jared and Sarah in Moab, Utah.
I remember thinking at the time how unusual and special it was to stand there not only as the person conducting the ceremony, but as a dad watching his son begin another chapter of his life.
Apparently, our family has decided this is now part of my job description.
Earlier this year, I had the privilege of officiating the wedding of my son Nicholas and Thomas in Washington, D.C.
And this weekend, I’ll be standing with Nick and Thomas again as they reaffirm their vows in front of family and friends in Asheville, North Carolina.
I’m beginning to think I’ve found myself a retirement side gig.
The pay isn’t particularly good, but the benefits are pretty hard to beat.
Because I’ve now been given something not every dad gets to experience.
I’ve had the privilege of standing beside both of my sons as they’ve made a commitment to the person they’ve chosen to build their life with.
Life Doesn’t Always Follow the Script
If you’ve been reading some of the things I’ve written lately, you’ve probably noticed a recurring theme.
Life doesn’t always turn out exactly the way we pictured it.
Careers change.
Health changes.
Retirement plans change.
Families grow and change.
And sometimes the people we love take paths that are entirely their own.
I’m learning that maybe one of the harder parts of getting older isn’t dealing with our own changes.
It’s recognizing that the people we love get to write their own stories too.
We don’t get to write them for them.
And I’m not sure we’re supposed to.
What Matters
As a parent, you spend a lot of years trying to teach your kids things.
How to make good decisions.
How to treat people.
How to work.
How to take responsibility when they screw something up.
And hopefully, somewhere along the way, how to build a good life.
Then one day you realize they’re adults.
You’re no longer steering.
You’re watching.
And if you’re fortunate, you get to watch them find someone who makes that life better.
I’ve gotten to see that with Jared and Sarah.
And I’ve gotten to see it with Nick and Thomas.
That’s something I’m pretty proud of.
I’m proud of my sons.
I’m proud of the people they’ve chosen to share their lives with.
And I’m proud of the families and lives they’re building together.
A Pretty Good Job for a Dad
I’ll admit there’s something a little unusual about officiating your own child’s wedding.
I’ve now done it for both of my sons.
And this weekend, I’ll essentially be doing it for Nick and Thomas a second time.
At this point, Laurie may need to start handling the bookings.
But standing there with them this weekend will be one of those moments I’ll probably remember long after I’ve forgotten exactly what I said.
There will be vows.
There will be family and friends.
There will undoubtedly be a few laughs.
And knowing our family, there’s at least a reasonable chance something won’t go according to plan.
Those are usually the parts you remember anyway.
But underneath all of that is something pretty simple.
Two people are standing in front of the people who matter to them and saying:
I still choose you.
There’s something powerful about that.
Not just in marriage, either.
Maybe that’s something families do too.
We keep choosing one another.
Through disagreements.
Through changes.
Through good years and difficult ones.
Through the things we understand immediately and the things that sometimes take us a little longer.
We keep showing up.
This Weekend
So this weekend, I’m going to put on the appropriate clothes, stand where I’m told, try not to screw up my lines, and once again pronounce these two…
Well, they’re already married.
I suppose that takes some of the pressure off.
But I will have the privilege of watching my son and Thomas look at one another and reaffirm the promises they made earlier this year.
And once again, I’ll have one of the best seats in the house.
Not because I’m officiating.
Because I’m Dad.
I’ve been fortunate enough to have that seat for both of my sons.
And somewhere along the way, Laurie and I picked up a couple of pretty great bonus family members in Sarah and Thomas. I couldn’t be prouder of all four of them and the lives they’re building together.
I’ve been thinking… sometimes one of the best things about watching your children build their own lives is realizing you don’t have to understand or control every chapter.
You just have to make sure they know you’ll still be there when they turn the page.
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